The Being-With and North Star Practices
Fieldwork Mapping Series, #12
Previous post in this series:
The following two exercises are very powerful, and I thought I would include them as complements to the standard fieldwork mapping practice. The first is a simple application of mapping to the art of being present with a partner. Taking turns, we bring our awareness to highlight specific feeling states, first within ourselves, then in our partner.
Practicing this prioritization of feeling at the center of awareness changes the dynamic of our being together. We learn to sense into the greater presence and wisdom of feelingmind, and that brings us closer to both ourselves and one another.
The Being-With Practice
Sit across from or beside one another in whatever way feels most comfortable to you both. Take a moment to be quiet with one another and tune into yourselves.
One of you start. Complete the sentence, “Right now I am feeling… [name your feeling state].” Keep it brief.
As the fellow explorer, first acknowledge the feeling and confirm the name. Then ask the mapping questions, starting with, “If you were to say the actual, felt experience of this [name their feeling state] is located…”
Do not take notes. Simply be present with the answers. Allow yourself to witness your partner’s feeling state as it takes its virtual material form. Perhaps you can “see” it, perhaps you can imagine what it might feel like. Allow yourself to be moved by what your partner shares.
When the mapping questions are complete, trade roles. The person who just finished mapping their state asks, “And right now, what are you feeling?” Follow up with the mapping questions only. Do not go into the belief questions for this practice.
Trade roles, back and forth, allowing yourself to be present with one another’s feeling, allowing yourself to be moved by one another. When you invite your partner to choose a feeling to map, clearly invite a “what else,” a different state from what has already been mapped, one that coexists with the others. Continue for as long as you wish.
Avoid lapsing into story. Do not use the moving questions. Simply be present with what is. Simply be present with one another.
When you finish, you may want to talk about your experience. Share some shift or opening or discovery you noticed, and something you want to take away from your encounter.
Reflections
The Being-With Practice works well in short exchanges where you bring your attention to one or two feeling states each. It can help ground you in what is most real within yourself.
Even more powerful, though, is to sit in the practice for an hour or more. There’s no rush. As the explorer, take your time to sense into the next feeling state, and really feel into the virtual material properties, one by one, as your partner asks the questions. In the facilitator role, give yourself space to fully take in your partner’s experience and allow it to influence your own.
You may find yourself drifting into thought, story and analysis from time to time. Again and again, bring yourself back into presence with your simple focus on feeling, answering the questions one at a time.
Over the course of a longer session, you will effectively gather the various parts of yourself that are active in your current mode of being. You will bring them together into the field of your awareness, providing the soil for mycelial connections to grow and strengthen.
As these various parts of yourself, held in their respective feeling state forms, are held in this shared field, both in your own awareness and in the awareness of your partner, what happens? And as you serve this witness role for your partner as well, holding the complexity and multiplicity of what resides inside of them, what happens? What shifts naturally begin to activate for you? For your partner? For you both?
Overall, what can you learn in this practice? What does your experience offer to your everyday habits of attention and activity? What do you want to bring with you into your ongoing, daily practice of living?
The North Star Practice
This second practice is an elegant way to invite a shift in a reactive feeling state you’ve mapped, without going into the full fieldwork moving process. I think of it as a direct way to reveal this particular part’s “north star,” its underlying most-highly-valued state and function, the touchstone against which it assesses your current position and orients you toward thriving.
I first learned the essential lever of this technique from Connirae Andreas of NLP Comprehensive in Boulder, Colorado back before fieldwork was born. Connirae’s process is called Core Transformation, and the central tactic is extremely powerful. It is direct and simple, involving a recursive inquiry into what a specific part of you wants above all.
This is a great tool for gaining insight into those most difficult reactive states and nudging them toward engaging in the moving process, or otherwise helping them engage more effectively with whatever process you might be relying on for growth and integration.
Bring your attention to the reactive state, reviewing your notes and placing your awareness on the felt experience. Open yourself to this part of you, holding a curiosity about its deeper desire.
Ask this part of you, either out loud or internally to yourself, “What do you want?” Wait for whatever answer arises. Write the answer down in a way that is satisfying and feels true to this part of you. In whatever way feels authentic to you, thank this part of you for engaging with you and expressing its desire.
Ask this part of you, “If you were to have this [the previous answer], fully and completely, exactly the way you want it, what do you want through having [the previous answer], that is even more important to you?” Again, wait for whatever answer arises, write it down, and thank this part of you.
Repeat this same question, harvesting each successive answer in turn, until you arrive at some sort of insight or a felt shift in your state. Again, write your answer down, and thank this part of you.
If at any point along the way, you notice another part (or parts) of yourself chiming in, “But…” “I can’t…” etc., make a note of this new voice and consider where it fits in the list of states you are working with.
If you intend to take this part through the moving process, return your attention to the original, reactive state and begin again from there. If you have other intentions, incorporate the insights you have gained into your process.
I offer this as a just-in-case tactic to help you shift yourself out of more difficult states. I do advise you to make sure to take into consideration the other states/parts of you which are in relationship with this one, and make sure not to leave those behind. Actively cultivate growthful relationships among all the parts you have identified.
We’ll go into much more depth regarding how to manage that more complete process in Volume 2. For now, this plus the straightforward moving process will get you quite far.
Reflections
Please let me know how this all lands for you in the comments, or feel free to reach out directly through DM or email (reply if you’re receiving this by email, or use the Frontiers of Psychotopology URL with an @ sign between “frontiers” and “psychotopology”). I’m curious to hear from you. And if you’re not yet subscribed, please consider doing so!